• Patrick Norris

69. Dr. Tina Payne Bryson – Mothers, Attachment, Parenting, and Mom Guilt




Welcome to Episode #69 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a New York Times Best Selling Author and leading professional expert in child development and parenting. Our conversation takes us into the following topics:

  • Tina’s backstory of becoming a professional parenting expert.

  • Attachment science and how attachment patterns develop our relationship templates for life.

  • Science’s best predictor of how well our children will turn out.

  • Defining the four attachment patterns that form how we connect in relationships.

  • The “4 S's” that build secure attachment (safe, seen, soothed and secure).

  • Parenting unpredictability and its impact on a child’s brain.

  • The power of consistent relationship repairs in creating a child’s window of tolerance.

  • The importance of engaging our own story to know why kids can push our trigger buttons.

  • What happens in a child’s emotional circuits when parents offer empathy and connection.

  • What the answer is in parenting a child when you don’t know what to do.

  • Fears that “I might be screwing my kids up.”

  • How our own parenting shame spiral will compel future “flip my lid” cycles.

  • The most attuned parents will get parenting connections wrong about 70% of the time.

  • It’s never too late to repair past relationship ruptures even though the child is now an adult.

  • How to make sense of and manage parent guilt or mom guilt.

  • Half of who our kids become is because of genetics, and the other half is because of experience and epigenetics.

  • Parents that ruminate around regrets do so because of roots in their own story and unprocessed anxieties.

  • How to be at peace from regrets that we didn’t raise our kids in church.

  • How the brain processes circuits for feeling stuck/regret versus circuits of empowerment.

  • Do we need to forgive ourselves for parenting mistakes?

  • Using rituals and symbols to let go of the guilt and shame of parenting failures.

  • Our history is not our destiny.

  • How understanding our own parent’s backstories will compel compassion from us today.

  • Managing the shame and what to do when we have feelings of “not liking” or even “being disgusted” with our kids.

  • A personal word to mothers for Mother’s Day love and encouragement.

Dr. Tina Payne Bryson is the author of The Bottom Line for Baby and co-author with Dan Siegel of two New York Times Best Sellers—The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline—each of which has been translated into over fifty languages, as well as The Yes Brain and The Power of Showing Up. She is the Founder and Executive Director of The Center for Connection, a multidisciplinary clinical practice in Southern California. Dr. Bryson keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world, and she frequently consults with schools, businesses, and other organizations.  An LCSW, Tina is a graduate of Baylor University with a Ph.D. from USC. The most important part of her bio–she says–is that she’s a mom to her three boys. You can learn more about Dr. Bryson at TinaBryson.com.


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Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister

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