04. DRIVEN PEOPLE OUGHT TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DRIVEN BY
Driven people ought to know what they are driven by!
· What are YOU driven by?
· What is your FAMILY, MARRIAGE and PARENTING driven by?
· What are your TEAMMATES driven by?
· What is your ORGANIZATION driven by?
You are devoted to making serious investments at work, ministry, and life – expecting to see serious results. You are willing to surrender all, leave all, and joyfully follow Christ anywhere He leads. However, you expect to live life to its healthiest and fullest.
· You want a great family
· You want meaningful friendships
· You want your financial life to mirror a “seek first God’s Kingdom” experience
· You want your emotional life to energize you with love, laughter, and peace
· You want a vibrant spiritual life, free from shame and condemnation
· You want to love yourself with the love Christ extends; unwavering and satisfied
· You want to leave a legacy of faith and a model of strength
You are a winner and want to make a difference.
BUT, something winds you up, or shuts you down!
Maybe you feel stuck in old patterns of thinking. Maybe you struggle with…
· Emotional Regulation
· Risk Aversion
· Fantasy Visions
Maybe you should ask yourself these questions:
· Why are interpersonal conflicts so emotionally difficult?
· Why are you anxious, depressed and angry so often?
· Why do you react to problem solving and confrontation the way you do?
· Why are you depressed when your ministry/marketplace dreams are slow to prosper?
· Why does “the dream” sometimes become your measurement of success?
· Why do you feel lost or abandoned when people choose to transition from your leadership?
· Why do you find yourself isolated and feeling unworthy, cringing at ruminations?
· Why does your marriage/parenting struggle while doing great kingdom-calling work?
· Why do you bend towards destructive, addictive behaviors with food, gambling, chemical dependence, porn or other powerful temptations?
Maybe your status fits into the national statistics below:
PANIC DISORDER/ATTACKS, DEPRESSION, STRESS AND RAGE
50% of entrepreneurs/executives report having mental health issues
95% of startup dreams fall short of projections, inflating emotional states
45% of entrepreneurs/executives live in ongoing worry and stress
50% of executives have a history of depression
70% of pastors report they have a lower self-image now than when they first started
48% of entrepreneurs/executives get a divorce from stress induced emotional states
84% of pastors wish they had someone they can trust and confide in, yet don’t
69% of people feel unappreciated at work, affected their emotional states
48% of the population are workaholics (55-75 hours per week)
80% of drivers report having significant anger/aggression while driving
10% of the population struggle with alcohol and drug addictions
10% of the population struggle with various sexual addictions
6% of people have reported a shopping addiction
27% of adults manage stress through emotional eating, overeating or skipping meals
What is worse is that you know these things have cost you. You have experienced time loss, relationship injuries, money wasted, dreams sabotaged and even diminished mental health. You know that until you master an area you will always be in threat of big losses in life.
You may have thought that if you could just learn enough Bible, study the doctrines, pray more, have better spiritual leadership in speaking into your life, or have more anointing that finally you would become wholehearted. But after years and years of doing the same things over and over you are still stuck in ruminating narratives and emotional surges that remind you that transformation has eluded you.
Stop here. Just for a moment slow down and ask yourself this question:
If you could change just one thing about yourself what would you change?
Identify what you feel is taking you off rails. What would be your first area of transformation you hope for?
My inclination is to tell you that you didn’t have to think very long about this at all. You already know. Because every day you have repeated blows from thoughts that attack your sense of emotional stability, criticizing you for the area you wish you could change.
The Apostle Paul, the guy who wrote over half of the New Testament said, “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will (want) to do, that I do not practice; but what I HATE, that I do (Romans 7:15 NKJV).” These sentiments echo through the heart and soul of every human. Paul learned the secret to wholehearted living. However, many of us have struggled to find the golden pot at the end of the rainbow.
Let me ask you a follow up question:
If you desire to change, why haven’t you CHANGED ALREADY?
Maybe you have spent a lot of money to figure you out. You might have gone to therapists to figure you out. You have invested large amounts of time into spiritual practices. You have traveled to hear and experience the top preachers, prophets and motivators. But you still are faced with being stuck.
You realize that so many things you have invested in have actually given incremental results. You have grown in your faith in Christ. You have a growing journal of spiritual experiences that have truly marked you. Sometimes you think you are really making big strides, then you realize that your strides are still slow and methodic. You know you are making some progress, but still your heart is dissatisfied with the state of your stuck-ness. You long to be wholehearted.
Let me suggest to you something Andy Stanley says, …
It is impossible to solve a problem WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW what the problem is to begin with!
Now more than ever, understanding the psychological drivers around your life really matters!
· Trying harder hasn’t worked.
· Focusing on goal-performance hasn’t worked.
· Praying harder, or stressing to be more spiritual, hasn’t worked.
· Casting out demons hasn’t worked.
· Inner healing experiences hasn’t worked.
· Why do YOU do what YOU do?
· What are DRIVEN people DRIVEN by?
Chronic, self-defeating and self-destructive emotions and behaviors – both in private and in our leadership - are not driven by our rational, thinking minds; they stem from psychological forces that are outside our conscious awareness, and their roots run deep into our past.
The Apostles called them roots of bitterness that would spring up and defile us.
Pursue PEACE with all [people], …looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any ROOT of BITTERNESS SPRINGING UP cause TROUBLE (excite, annoy or disturb), and by this many become DEFILED (dye, stain, contaminate)… HEBREWS 12:14-15 NKJV
Bitterness refers to something so sharp, pungent and intense to the taste, that when experienced, it causes an involuntary and sometimes violent physiological reaction. When you eat extremely sour candy, you prepare yourself to control the reaction. Then without control, you find yourself experiencing shivers through your body, your eyes water, your face contorts, you take off dancing or even running around, contriving to get that thing out of your mouth.
The text explores how we develop internal energy pockets that give the same sharp, pungent and intense involuntary reactions. These bitter energy batteries “spring up” and “trouble” us. They arouse us with excitement, annoyance and disturbance. They ultimately will reframe our sense of self, our emotional identity, by “defiling” us. This emotional identity is tattooed, or inked into our heart and soul with the grief, loss and trauma we sustained.
You can try to control it like popping a very sour candy in your mouth, but you will notice explosive reactions that are out of your control. Until you deal with the bitter “root” you will not be able to pray it away, bible-study it away, declare it away or cast it away.
It should be noted that bitterness from griefs, losses and traumas actually have roots. Often when we talk about roots we refer to the full “root system.” Systems drive our bitter involuntary reactions. This is true in theology, psychology and neuroscience. These bitter roots are built into our heart, soul and brain by things like:
· Childhood relationship injuries
· Repeated neglect, verbal attack or physical abuse
· Parental messages of anxiety or shame
· Loss of hopes and/or disillusioned dreams
· Experiencing exploitation of others
· Religious control, rigidity