WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I KNOW THE FEELING – I CAN HELP YOU!
WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Odds are, if you are at this site, you’re already a high-achiever and visionary trying to figure out this internal thing that disrupts and sabotages your life, the small and the big. You know there is something inside of you that winds you up, that springs up and messes you up. If you could solve this thing in you, you would have an exponentially better life; spiritually, emotionally, relationally and physically. You have great ambitions and dreams, however you sense it’s motivation comes from a fear of not being enough, valuable or loveable – at least until these Self-defining dreams come to fruition.

 

You are devoted to making serious investments at work, ministry and life – expecting to see serious results. You are willing to surrender all, leave all and joyfully follow Christ anywhere He leads. However you expect to live life to its healthiest and fullest.

  • You want a great family

  • You want meaningful friendships

  • Your financial life to mirror a “seek first God’s Kingdom” experience

  • You want your emotional life to energize you with love, laughter and peace

  • You want a vibrant spiritual life, free from shame and condemnation

  • You want to love yourself with the love Christ’s extends; unwavering and satisfied

  • You want to leave a legacy of faith and a model of strength

You are a winner and want to make a difference. Yet you struggle.

QUESTION #1

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOU

WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

QUESTION #1

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOU WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

I’m not talking about the genetic, gift-talent sets, or other non-adaptable features of you. I’m talking about things that you could do, things you could execute, that would bring about positive change in your life. What would that be?

  • Your emotional regulation and health?

  • Your control of urges and compulsive desires?

  • Your management of destructive addictive behaviors?

  • Your tormenting inner voice that shames you?

  • Your secure connection with other people?

  • Your stamina to execute goals until they are finished?

QUESTION #2

IF YOU DESIRE TO CHANGE,

WHY HAVEN’T YOU CHANGED ALREADY?

QUESTION #2

IF YOU DESIRE TO CHANGE, WHY HAVEN'T YOU CHANGED ALREADY?

That is a powerful question! Most people answer that with this response:

  • ”I just need to KNOW more about leadership.”

  • “I just need to TRY harder. I need to PRAY more. I need to READ the BIBLE more."

  • "I need to TRUST God more!”

  • "I need to fight in SPIRITUAL WARFARE.”

  • "I need to have a DEMON cast out. "

  • “I guess I DON’T WANT TO ENOUGH, cause if I desired enough I would change.”

  • “I’m probably NEVER going to be able to change.”

 

SOUND FAMILIAR???

 

While spiritual practices are foundational in the ecology of recovery, advancement in clinical research privileges us with insights, showing maladaptive and hyper-reactive behaviors are soft wired into the brain. These outbursts are not merely moral, or just issues of character; most often they are root-issues involving neuro-reactions from unprocessed traumas. These unprocessed traumas are technically what Scripture highlights in an unrenewed mind.

 

The enemy will use these wounds to exasperate the losses and griefs. Memorization won’t fix it. Learning another doctrinal truth won’t fix it. Repenting harder won’t fix it. These impromptu surges have been built over a person’s lifetime, and do not randomly go away. Sadly, simplistic religious solutions galvanize shame, a worthless sense of Self, reinforcing future cycles of compulsivity and more grievous consequences and leadership meltdowns.

CONSIDERATION

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SOLVE A PROBLEM

WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW

WHAT THE PROBLEM IS TO BEGIN WITH!

CONSIDERATION

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SOLVE A PROBLEM

WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW

WHAT THE PROBLEM IS TO BEGIN WITH!

I KNOW THE FEELING - I CAN HELP!

I’ve been there. Early in my life I developed an insecure attachment style, tormenting me with anxieties. I knew some REDemption truths that got me through many things, but I still would have triggered moments. I can remember times where my brain would feel like Jell-O; unstable, filled with irrational fears. These panic attacks would come usually late at night when nothing else needed my focus. Sometimes I would wonder if would make it back into my right mind by morning. Thankfully I always did. 

 

These anxieties affected my relationships, from selection of friends to the forecasting of eventual abandonment. The anger and depression affected my parenting, my marriage and ultimately my dreams. Oh, did I mention my dreams were stalled out. It seemed like no matter what conferences were attended, podcast were listened to, or books were read, nothing could get the momentum moving. I would have to fight for every inch of peace or joy that I could get, as subconscious doubts and torments formed my self-esteem and value. I medicated by comfort-eating, getting distracted with unimportant things and excessively talking painfully about the people who’d left me. As a pastor, that can scar deeply.

 

As a career pastor, this vocation is all I had ever known. What does a pastor do if he/she suffers? The complexity of stepping down and deciding the future of our church without me, or the future of my own calling-assignment, and how it would affect my wife and kids, considering the confusion and disappointment it would bring to our members, along with the fearful loss of our comfortable standard of living, one that we had grown accustomed to, was overwhelming and confusing.

What was I supposed to do? Thoughts rolled through my mind to stop it all and focus on getting healthy. But I would think, “What job would I even take if I wasn’t a pastor?” These thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness are nuanced things that a pastor has unique emotional energy around, and it is its own suffering. 

 

I’m grateful for the spiritual fathers who had taught me how to connect with God, live by faith, receiving God’s grace, make meaning of suffering, and to make my identity in Christ. These powerful truths helped me, however they didn’t complete my recovery. I’m sure I didn’t understand the truths to the level of “revelation” that I could have. Yet, I needed to understand me better, and why I did the things I did, or why I raged as I raged, or was depressed as I was depressed. 

 

Then the path to recovery turned for me as I gained new light, informing inerrant texts by the color-commentary of psychology and neurobiology. As a doctrinal-fundamentalist, these sciences allowed for a new vantage point behavioral-transformation taught throughout Scripture. Later, my passion grew to help others so I engaged in a training program developed by a pioneer in addiction therapy, Dr. Patrick Carnes. I became a certified multiple addiction professional with the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals. Since then I have progressed exponentially in my own health and recovery. Through the years I have gained meaningful friendships with these recovery colleagues, Christian psychologist and therapists, who are equally passionate about helping those who struggle and suffer.

RESOURCES THAT INSPIRE A REVOLUTION

WHAT'S NEXT?

YOU HOLD THE FUTURE IN YOUR HANDS.

HOW WILL YOU STEWARD IT TODAY?

Our ecosystem of resources are designed to help you take steps towards your desired whole-hearted leadership. We encourage you to begin with listening to our RED INK REVIVAL PODCAST or VODCAST (Youtube). Our RETREAT EXPERIENCES are core to our work. If you think you are ready to have an exponential launch into your tomorrow start at a retreat. Below is a great systematic path to follow: